The good and the bad,

Lots of stuff happened,
and I can't really remember the order,
so yeah I'm just gonna write it down just like that.

Shit happened.



First: (from Gigi)
anw, my boy jo knows of u.
i told him "actually a girl in my club likes u"
"is it that girl?"
"which girl???"
"the one with the name starting with J"
"JOANNE!"
"that one!"

he guessed it today!
and he even knows of ur existence
so rejoice!

Why should I rejoice.
Why should I be happy.
How am I gonna face him for Poly 50.

He is just eyecandy.
Now I can't even make myself look at him.

It'd be so effing awkward.

Happened on Tuesday night,
cos Poly 50 was the day after.
I cried myself to sleep that night.

I didn't know why I cried.
Did I cry 'cos he now knows,
or did I cry 'cos a friend I consider as close betrayed my trust.

A lot of thinking has to be done huh.



Second:
Didn't go for Poly 50 :/
so can't see Joseph and see how he reacts around me.

Sian.
Marketing project has us all fucked up man.
Very tired now.

But whatever, I have my motivation (:



Third:
Marketing Comm Chest project was today.
Some parts were good.
Some parts were quite screwed up.
Blah whatever.

Must do better next week!

The worst part ever,
is to see others posing for their webcam when you are presenting something that is awfully important to you.
No offence,
you might be my classmate,
you might be my friend,
I'm still gonna whine, complain and talk about it.

I listened to all of you during your presentation, didn't I?
So did my group, I'm pretty sure of it.
Even if we look at our computers or handphones, we still look back at you and get entertained at some times by your presentation.

Did you see us fucking crowding in front of one laptop and start camwhoring.
Did we fucking not give you any bit of respect.

Since we gave you the attention and respect,
please do the same to me and my group as well.
You think you are way superior than us, so you can jolly well not listen to us is it.
What kind of shit attitude is that.

This is the first time I can give people eye contact during my turn of presentation.
but mostly it was staring at your group.
And you effholes seem to not have a care of the world and still continued your bloody effing nonsense.

Kanages talked loudly to gain your attention.
What did y'all do?
Still taking pictures after pictures.
Is that the only thing you all are capable of doing.
Taking pictures and being fucking rude?
Then,
that is so pathetic man.
I wondered how did you have the shame to live through 17 years of your life.

You know I can swear I will make sure you all cannot pose for pictures anymore.

I know it happened hours ago,
but if I can still be mad about it,
it means you all have way crossed the line.

I could have stopped the presentation,
and screamed at you all,
and demand for your respect.

I am regretting why I didn't.

You know,
I believe in what goes round comes round.
You all will have your karma soon.



Fourth:
I effing puked again.
Am I supposed to be worried about it?
Am I gonna die?

Gosh.

No,
not going to the docs.
Don't try persuading.
HAHAHAHA!



At least life is fair,
there are downs and ups (:

I love the ups,
really.


I talked to Coke just now.
Like the old times.
and he replied really quickly.
It was really like the old times.
With all the IM BORED and Hurrr hurrr hurrrs.

I smiled,
but I was waiting for Henry to reply me.

Sher asked if I still like Coke,
I said,
I think nope.
Something tells me to move on (:


And when my day went really bad,
Henry is there to cheer me up in the end.

Yeah,
he made me upset in the afternoon by his phone cmi stuff.
Louisa will know what I mean.

But at least now we are talking.
And I'm always smiling (:




I wanna go to the airport badly :/
I wanna enjoy very cold aircon.
I wanna see the many many aeroplanes.
I wanna catch all the airplanes and make many many wishes (:
I wanna be there with you,



XOXO
Joanne!

Thursday, July 29, 2010 , 10:57 PM

I'm really happy today,

Had ICP in the morning,
late for an hour.
Awesome.
HAHAHA, other pepo were late 'cos the train broke down.
I was late 'cos I decided to wait for the rest and hence did my makeup in the MRT toilet for 20 whole minutes.
I'm a nice person okay (:

HAHAHA
IMW was hell.
Everyone had awesome posters!
I looked at mine, and just shook my head.
I had no confidence in myself la.
Wanted to die so badly.

Then,
when I presented,
my friends gave me hope (:
They said it was nice, and all the good comments.
You all will never know how much all these mean to me.
They are precious,
and I'm glad it was still okay.
I still can recall Adli saying, Bonamana wooo~

Thank you all my friends!
A really big thank you! (:

Marketing lecture was fun.
Type type type stuff all the way,
and of course Facebook and Youtube.
I need to catch up on Marketing,
slacked way too much already :/

Sherlyn came to find me at Dover.
Went home together with Zann, Bella, Kanages and Guna.
Saw Coke on the platform too,
whatever.

One MRT came,
but Sher&I couldn't get in.
So we had to wait for the next one.
HAHAHA I like Zann's face when we saw the door closed right in front of us.
HAHAHA!

Thanks to the Lord and Guanyin Ma for listening to my prayers.

I SAW HENRYYYYY :D
HAHAHAHA!
WHAT WERE THE ODDS MAN!
(this phrase is finally back!)

Do you know how happy I was?!
It was immeasurable!
My heartbeat went lub dub like a loud drum, omg.

But he went to the back with his friends.
Sigh.

Dropped off at CCK to find that he was in front of meeeeee!
:D

Ahhhh excited, I called out to him!

Me: "HENRY!"
Henry: "Heyyyy!"

HAHAHA,
he said how coincidental it was to see me after he had a competition.
Hahaha,
he said he got thrashed in his soccer competition today.
LOL,
and I went so you mean I am your jinx is it!

Hahaha,
you should have seen his smile and hear his laughter (:


We walked through the condo way again.
And yeah,
it sort of feels like I was walking him home.
HAHAHA!

We were talking about DLS days,
and oh about Jikai HAHAHA!

We parted soon,
but heck,
I walked home smiling like an idiot,
when people literally stare at me.

I was feeling sky high,
over the moon.

Thanks for making me smile genuinely (:
Thank you Henry (:

I got his MSN,
and now we are talkingggg.....

He just said I didn't change much, awww (:

I like where this is going.


P.S:
Kanages,
please stay strong! At least for your family?
Think of the good memories of your dad! He will always live in your heart!
He might be gone, but you can still feel his presence, don't you?
I know it's hard for to accept this fact that he is gone,
it is never easy to adapt,
but I believe in you.
I know you will pull through it, no matter what.
You have your family and friends.
We are always here for you, dear (:
I love you, beloved Kanahui!



XOXO
Joanne!

Monday, July 26, 2010 , 9:29 PM

Heeeeee,

I chionged my IMW CA3 today.
And it was some darn Photoshop poster.

Thanks to the Lord and Guanyin Ma for letting me do so successfully!

It looks okay la,
not very pretty,
kind of cool,
but probably too wordy.
I don't know.
Sighs, 30% lehhh!

Grrr!

Then, it was planning for Runway.
Have to find some info on their numbers and stuff.
Damn tired now,
I even slept while watching teeevee ):


This is bad.


Tomorrow's Monday.
A brand new day.

I hope good luck will be on my side (:


P.S:
I'm so happy reading the papers today, saying Mingdao is No1 hunk in China now, followed by Hangeng 2nd.
I love them both!
Currently watching Suju's old MVs,
'cos I know I will see my Hangeng&Kibum in there.
They make my heart flutter (:


XOXO
Joanne!

Sunday, July 25, 2010 , 9:50 PM

I just wish to see you soon,

There was make-up CCA today at MLT 10.
We were supposed to practice for our runway.
But I didn't have model nor design yet.
Sighs,
shall design soon (:

My Ice Queen will be uber-duper-super-fullerlicious awesome!
HAHAHAHA

We had fun,
then went on to FC5 for lunch.
I was starving like omfg crazy.

Had KFC Shrooms burger.
I came to a realisation that,
it was not enough HAHAHA!

Just then,
we were discussing our runway plans,
when we shifted our attention to guys (YES AGAIN OMG EVERY WEEK WITHOUT FAILLLLL :0)
Kai had to find his male model,
so we were scouting around.
One guy,
whom we named as 'high chair guy' was okay.

HAHAHA,
cos this white shirt guy is omfg hawt and cute.
LOL!
And we realised Angeline's boyfriend knows him and this whole other bunch of cute guys (AHHHHHH!)

But heck, that is not the point.
So, Kai was so brave,
he went to find the high chair guy and crapped and tried to get his number and of course to be his model.
Mission......
failed.
He got rejected,
sad sial :/

Then,
he went on to try the white shirt guy and his group.
AHHHHH WHITE SHIRT GUY ACTUALLY AGREED,
till stupid Kai went to show his design to him.
His red, fiery, fierce design.
Grrrr ):
And so,
he got rejected again.

We then sat around,
talking about runway,
and exclaiming how cute white shirt is.
Gigi and Bernice left early.
So it was just me, Kai, Feiyun and Gina.

We got another table near them,
just cos our seat had no plugs around.
We got on to discuss about the flyers and posters,
but of course,
me and Feiyun were very distracted by our wonderful view of white shirt.
HAHAHA,
and I realised one of them looks like Ah Wei from Bang Bang Tang! :D

We also realised white shirt likes to walk around,
especially near to us,
(AWWWWWW!)

Hahahahaha,
so we sat till 5plus,
till he went home.

LOL!
Oh and Feiyun 'made her research' and found Ah Wei lookalike's Facebook.
YAY FEIYUN :D



Yeah,
you may say boy hunt again,
but hey it doesn't hurt to look around right.

What hurts most is to not see him for 3 days straight ):
Haven't seen Henry around,
and I thought i would see him today.
Sigh sigh sigh.

And to think I prayed to Lord and Guanyin for this.


Chilled with my girlfriends yesterday at Cine.
Watched Blood Pledge.
It was ok lah,
since I still yawned and almost fell asleep.

Cheong was being all Saudi Arabia by putting her black jacket around her face.
Chengmun was covering her ears,
and Goat was practically all over me.
Her legs on mine,
her hands hooked to mine,
her head on my shoulder.......blah blah blah you get it

HAHAHAHA
Gosh it wasn't even scary at allllll,
look at me scarier can?!?!

Heeeee,
then lepak at 313 Somerset after that.
Ate Yoshinoya,
awesome stuff ever (:

We talked.
About every single shit.

Then they talked about Coke and Henry.
Mmmhmm.
And on the MRT,
Chengmun was still talking about 'WHAT WERE THE ODDS MAN!"

Sigh,
I see it missing from my recent posts man.
I hope this phrase will come out soon, soon, soon!


I wish that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars,
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now......


I wish that I would see Henry soon,
i wish that we would talk to each other on and on for ages,
I wish we would never be apart <3




XOXO
Joanne

Saturday, July 24, 2010 , 11:13 PM

Pretty down,

Nabei cb sial.
Just went to check out my IMW results.
C again.
A FUCKING C AGAIN.

I don't know what's wrong.
I admit I haven't been reading alot these few months,
but deteoriate like that?
Wtf.
Fml.

I hope it's nothing against me.
Fuck.

I'm clenching my fist now,
listening to Beast now.
I'm hanging on.

I need to do awesomely well for IMW CA3.
I'm not gonna be beaten down.
But,
why am I still not motivated to do anything?
Why don't I feel stress like the rest.
Fuck.

I can't stand feeling empty inside.

Omg,
I can cry now.

I'm all alone in the lecture hall,
with nothing in sight.
This is bad.

For Super Junior,
I must do the poster for Bonamana well.
Since, I have succeeded in installing Photoshop, I will try using it.

Cher is talking about Diploma Plus programme now.
Fuck.
I wanna take the Theatre Performance and Production,
but but but,
with my current shit GPA....

Ha, what a joke.

I haven't seen Henry yesterday.
I hope to see him later ):

I need a lil' motivation.
Just a lil'.
I am not greedy yeah?

Grrr.

Need to focus on Marketing proposal soon.
I wonder how it is now.
Gosh.
Slap me awake someone please.



I need your loving hands to hold me up.



XOXO
Joanne.

Thursday, July 22, 2010 , 11:01 AM

I hope Cupid gave us an arrow each,

Had Design Basics lesson today.
But Nai Nai wasn't there ):

No hot cher to look at today,
hence,
no lesson ):

Then wtheck did I go to school for huh!
But ohwells,
spent my time on MVs, videos and slacking.
LOL!

Went Hilltop to have my mushroom soup,
then down the hill to FC5.

Guess who I saw!
Guess guess!

HAHAHAHA,
yeah Henry again.
OMG WHAT WERE THE ODDS AGAIN :D

Pepo happy happy sial,
then heartbeat up and down,
up and down,
like a yoyo
(:

Hahaha,
drank Jolly Shandy to clam myself down.
He looked at me, I looked at him,
(:

Awesome.

Then,
he went off first,
but he walked damn slowly to the exit,
then he stopped and waited around the pool.

Then,
I started to leave FC5 (:
So he was practically in front of me when we went up the hill, back to class.

Lalalala,
I'm happy (:

That's all it matters.


Adli kept on asking me who's Coke.
And I went,
yknow who.
And I finally had to say it out, before he would stop asking me.

Then,
he started the 'if no Coke ah, then still got Pepsi' shit.

If Henry were to be Pepsi,
then what does it mean.
A substitute for Coke?

No way man.

That's why Henry is gonna stay as Henry.


I am still avoiding Coke in school,
but I don't know why I did that.
Am I afraid just 'cos I think he knew?
Or am I afraid it'd cause him awkwardness,
or am I just plain angry with him,like any asswipe girls will.

I still need to know who that girl is.
Yeah,
got problem that I wanna know who I lose to is it.


Anyways,
SHINee Lucifer is out (:
Mama Gigi helped me order the CD already...
Eggcited!

I love Taemin's straight rebonded hair laaaa,
and Minho is as hot and charismatic as ever!
And Onew looks better now...

So sorry,
but I can't stand Key's hair ):

HAHAHAHA!


I am dedicating this part to Kai Yeo Zhenhao (:
Thank you for being a selfless sister,
and helped me out with my damn blog no matter what.
I'm so so so sorry it hanged your dreamweaver ):
I promise to be nice to you and stop calling you gay guy kaysxz? :D
I love you Jiejie!



XOXO
Joanne!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010 , 12:07 AM

No Monday blues,

Went late for class cos I decided to relish in McD's breakfast.
HAHAHA

I tried hard not to look at him in class,
but we talked about Samuel Nai,
and all girls got soooo excited.

Then I accidentally turned back and saw him looking at me.
Ah fuck so I turned back.

Then again, I accidentally look at him again.
And there he was still looking.

OMG is it me or I'd find it hard to forget.

But anyways,
I was happy during our 3 hour breakkkk.
Went to FC5 to look at cute guys,
HAHAHA

Then proceeded to Hilltop Library.
Went around finding seats.
Finally found one, and I realised Henry was just there.

OMG WHAT WERE THE ODDS AGAIN MAN.

I smiled very happily (:
He kept turning around to look at me,
smiling at me (:

HAHAHAHA!

Ohwells.
He is too cute to not look at LALALALA

But I tried not to look at him,
just in case it got all too obvious.
And luckily my friends decided to build a human wall around me hahahaha


Henry's appearance made me smile.
And I knew I was genuinely happy again (:


Anyways,
the worse thing was...I puked again.
FML.
I need to get a full body check soon.
Ahhhh grrr :/



XOXO

Monday, July 19, 2010 , 9:53 PM

I feel loved today,

There was Makeup today.
Mummy&Kai didn't go...
Sadded sial ):

Hahahaha but had fun researching for the runway.
My theme is Seasons,
and I will be doing Winter.
Now on the search for white mascara, white fake eyelashes, ivory contact lenses, black/red lipstick, hair gel that lasts for hours and very white powder!

Heeee,
so went to FC5 for lunch.
Was freakinggggg hungry.
Had cup noodles as usual.
Hahahaha Gina&Feiyun FTW!

Didn't wear my specs.
Then, someone waved to me.
I tried to squint my eyes,
then I felt the figure resembled Henry's.

Hahahaha waved back,
then immediately put on my specs to see clearly.

OMG does anyone know I used to have a crush on him in Primary school.
Okay, only Feiyun knows.
HAHAHAHA!
In Primary school, I was too busy gangster-ing around so yeah,
prolly no one in Pri sch knows.

He went to get Subway,
and omg he turned to look at me for gazillion times (:
HAHAHAHA SMILES TO SELF STUPIDLY :D

Then he went in and out,
in and out of FC5.
Finally, I decided to go home, when I saw him waiting for table at FC5.
Sigh,
I thought to myself.
No fate sial.

So,
G,FY and me walked to MRT.
Parted at the EZ-Link gate.
Then, I accidentally turned around,
and guess what!
Henry was just behind!!!

What were the odds man!
See him everywhereeee!
Hahaha...

So yeah he waited for the MRT almost at the same place with me.
Only he had his friend,
and I had no one.
So I emo-ed with my IPod.

Henry is real tall.
He can like totally bang the top of the MRT cabin OMG :0

So yeah,
finally got down at CCK.
And I still didn't know he was behind me.
I walked my usual muddy path to cross the road, when he intercepted me at the concrete path.

He said,
Walking home ah?
And I went,
yeah (: (smiles radiantly)

Then, we talked about our courses,
and how he was having swimming competition and how he did badly for it and how he was so tired.
Really enjoyed listening to it (:

Then,
we arrived at a condominium.
and he went,
hey cut through here la, faster.

Then he swiped the condo card,
and I went, you stay here?!
(cos he used to stay reallly near me)

Hahahaha,
then we laughed at this woman whose shoe broke, and was hobbling.

He kept on turning to look at me,
kind of awkward but I just look back.
He has so looooong legs,
he walk at the same speed as my Dad :x

Then,
we reached the exit.
He pressed the button for me,
and I tried pushing the door but it was so heavy, he helped me out.

I walked home with a smile on face.
Total opposite of yesterday,
when I was walking home crying like a fuck.

Maybe I should really move on,
since it won't work out with Coke.

You may call me a flirt,
I don't care.

Now I know why girls say being pursued is way better than pursuing someone.
Now I know why girls find guys who genuinely care and love them.
Because that feeling makes one happy.

I want to find this feeling.


XOXO

Saturday, July 17, 2010 , 8:56 PM

you are my heartbreaker,

So,
Coke was still sick and didn't go to school.

I'm adapting myself to be friends with him again.
It's hard, but I'd strive on.

He said he won't date girls in our class,
cos it'd be awkward.
And he said in a way that Bella feels he has someone else in mind.

I know I suck,
but I need to know which girl I lose to.

No,
I'm not giving up though I sound like I am.
I will just wait patiently.

I don't want to be your rebound girl, just in case the girl in your mind rejects you.
I don't want to be her substitute, cos that feeling sucks.
Cos I know you heart ain't with me.

If you are mine, you will be mine.
I learnt it the hard way,
roaming the streets and crying like fuck.

You are my heart, heart, heart, heart,
heartbreaker.



Saw Zann's blog.
So nice!
I wanna redo my blog soon too!
Anyone wanna offer help? (:



P.S:
Gonna watch A Walk To Remember laterz.
I hope I don't cry like fuck.

:x



I miss him,
but what can I do?
FML.



XOXO

Friday, July 16, 2010 , 11:35 PM

Photoshop is killing me,

Bleah.
Design Basics now.
Siansxz,
though it might be the last lesson we are gonna have,
the teacher is not helping.

I miss Nai Nai ):

Ohhh,
Lye Yee is sick today :/
Sadded sial.
Hahahaha had a great chat with her ytd.
Makes me realise alot of shit happening around me.
LOL!

Anyways,
Coke came today,
though I thought he won't.
I'm happy (:
HAHAHA
He is wearing long sleeve.
Blah I hope he ain't too cold ):


I need a wish right now,
wish that he will be fine and high soon (:


My heart breaks seeing him this way.

(I'm currently using my computer screen to look at him :0 )


XOXO

Tuesday, July 13, 2010 , 9:43 AM

Coke is sick ):

Yeah,
as the title suggested,
Coke was sick today.
Came for ICP,
then left during the 3 hour break.

And I was still upset about how he didn't wish me,
when he is sick so terribly.
He has fever, flu, sore throat, and all I ever thought was how I feel.

I am so disappointed in myself,
so much so that I am so upset with myself.

Sighs.

Now he ain't replying to me on MSN.
But I don't care.

I hope he is well, fine and fit for school tomorrow (:

Now,
I only care about his health.

How silly of me to get so worried,
but hey,
this is me.

I'm like this when I'm in love (:




XOXO
Joanne!

Monday, July 12, 2010 , 11:34 PM

I am pretty upset,

I AM SEVENTEEN TODAY, WORLD!
Hahahaha,
I wish myself Happy Birthday and may 18 please come sooooon! (:

Today was awesomeeeee!
SN lovelies planned a trip to Somerset for flea.
Saw Coke.
Couldn't really see clearly, but at least he waved.
Fate huh?
Was shocked&happy (:

Then, went to Cine.
Then, Scape Park.
The yogurt from Red Mango is awesome.
Try Berries Galore!

Then back to Cineleisure again.
Had dinner at Pastamania.
Saw eyecandy from Iluma Marbleslab (:
AHHHH then he looked at me in the eye, AHHHHHH :D
Pepo at Pastamania are awesome.
They screwed up my wife's orders, so they gave complimentary soup of the day.
Then, complimentary choc brownie cos it was my birthday!
Then, free PINK balloons! YAY :D
(sorry, deprived of childhood cannot huh.)

We went to Clarke Quay after that.
I wanted a romantic ending.
HAHAHAHA!
Victor Papa got us Barcadi and Chardonnay.
Drank by the Singapore River.
Damn romantic sial.
Played truth or dare.
Wifey got dare, and she kissed me on my lips.
No big deal, HAHAHAHA!

I really enjoyed myself out there,
despite the fact that I had a bad start in the morning with Mum.
Ohwells,
I do not wish to talk about that.


Shuimin scared me by telling me she knew about Coke.
Bleahhhh.
Wonder how she knew it.
LOL.

It's my birthday and I actually felt upset.
Since Coke could go out in the afternoon, means he ain't busy right.
Then why couldn't he even send a simple Happy Birthday message?
Nothing on SMS nor on Facebook.
And to think I kept on waiting and waiting.

I just don't get it.
Sometimes,
I just tell myself he is dumb.
Then pepo will say maybe he is acting dumb.
So,
if he is acting dumb,
what does it mean.
He don't want to recognise the fact that I'm actually into him.
So, rejecting me la?
Whatever.

I just don't know what is on his mind.

No I'm not angry he didn't wish me (though he said once on Thursday, Happy Birthday, to me, but it ain't the real day get it!)
It's just telling me he can't be bothered?
Ahhh FML la.

And when I'm thinking of such stuff,
I will be remembered of him,
his smile,
him annoying me with his dislike for Spain,
his sweet coffee bean incident,
his very nice dyed hair which I will love to style for him,
his unshaven chin,
his eyes,
his arms which i always whack,
and his cheeks which i accidentally slapped ):

Life has its sad and happy parts.
But why are the happy parts hard to find.

Maybe as Adli said,
happy parts are like diamonds and gold,
valuable,
precious,
hard to find.


Anyways,
I hope Coke's sore throat will go away!
Leave him alone man,
then I can talk to him more (:


Ting Ting Yuan Yuan is 17 now.
She will be brave,
and she will strive on for every single thing she cares for,
yes that includes you, Coke.



XOXO
Princess Yuliant Joanne Ivan Ryo Coke Tan Ting Yuan!

Sunday, July 11, 2010 , 2:15 AM

Mixed feelings,

Lectures in the morning.
Laughed about Joshua's fringe as usual.
HAHAHAHA!

Wore my Spain World Cup jersey!
<3
I wanna get the Torres and David Villa one!

Pepo went like,
GO SPAIN!
WOOHOO SPAIN WON GERMANY!
YEAH SPAIN MAN!

Wow,
I never knew my jersey will make an impact.
LOL!

Had IMW CA2.
I tried hard to concentrate,
since Coke was sitting behind me.
(:

Hahahaha,
I think I did okay la.
Can pass la.
Heee!

Marketing lesson after that.
Mr Lee can't stop talking about Spain won!
Hahaha and he said he would sms me if Spain win the finals.
LOL,
and he said,
"I will ask Coke to sms you!"
And Coke said,
"If Spain wins, I will jump down a building!"

Smack him sia.


After school,
we proceeded to Woodlands to visit Kanages.
Met up with Crosby at the MRT station.
Had dinner at Pastamania.
Peach Litchi italian soda <3

Coke looks adorable when he smiles radiantly (:

I slapped Faris today,
shiatsxz.
But that's cos he asked Crosby to help him buy cigarettes.
Cannot stand him la.
But I felt bad after that.
He said it was okay and told me he know about Coke stuff.
So I pulled him to one side,
then Coke kept pulling him away from me,
so I went,
Coke go away!

Then he just let go,
like damn sudden like that.
I saw the look on his face.
DAMN TY DAMN ):

I was really upset.

Kept apologising to Faris.
Held onto his arm throughout the whole bus ride.
He tried to flex his muscles.
WTH CMI MAN.

So we got off the bus to walk to Kanages's house.
I walked beside Coke.
He kept on talking about my FB status.
And the slapping thing.
So I banged him to one side.
For fun LOL.

Zana was so nice to reject his high-five!
HAHAHA,
you should have seen how adorable he was to high-five himself.

Adli and Zana were trying to help, I can see.
Walao Adli kept on coughing... like it will work man.

Heh.

But the main point was Kanages.
She is doing well now.
Coping well.
Trying not to break down.

She thanked us all profusely.
I could hear she is trying very hard to hold it all in.

I thought of Ahma.
Damn.
Teared,
but I told myself,
I have to be strong in front of Kanages or she'd break down.

Kanages,
stay strong!
We will always be here for you!
I can't wait to see you smile and laugh genuinely.
:D

I'll pray for your Dad.
He is now at a better place (:


I thought I saw Coke teared.
Yeah he might be thinking of his Grandma...

Wanted to sit with him on the bus back to Woodlands MRT.
Decided not to.
Then sat alone.
Emo-ed in a way.

Zann,Coke and I took the MRT back together.
Before I went into the MRT,
Coke can't stop saying,
When a girl says nothing, it means something.
LOL,
never knew had an impact on him huh!
Keep on repeating one.

I 'legged' him.
And he went,
if it was other girls, I'd be turned on.
FML.
WHATEVER LAH.
GO FIND OTHER GIRLS TO LEG YOU LAH.

Zann wanted to see what Kayleen got me.
So Coke was nice to help me take out the present properly.
Looked at him while he was doing.
He has really longggg eyelashes.
GOSH,
WHY DO GUYS HAVE STUFF THAT GIRLS WANT -.-


I love Coke.
No matter how he pissed me off with his not-turned-on-by-me comment.
Damn ):

Okay the more I think about it,
the worse it gets.
FML.



XOXO

Thursday, July 8, 2010 , 11:58 PM

I feel so lost,

So today I went to school uber early,
like half an hour early.

Sat in class staring at Teejong like ..... (pffft you get it)

Adli, your bad!

So, Coke came and I don't even dare to look at him.
Coke sat behind me,
hah and I brought my mirror to school so I could see him from the mirror (IKR IM AWESOME!)

Anyways,
Coke couldn't stop talking about how I slapped him ytd.
I finally got frustrated and acted angry.
Apparently it had no use on him.

Adli brought his guitar to school,
hahaha pro sial.
And his singing is great!

MCA was okay.
Had fun with Lou-Lu&Kanages&Lye Yee!

I never knew the bridge at Sixth Avenue had an accident! :0

Anyways,
I swear I saw Coke looked at me when I was doing the visualiser.
Awwww! (:
(smiles happily to herself, though she knows it's wishful thinking on her part)

MCA ended early today.
Went to Clubhouse to do makeup for the Photoshoot!
Smoky eyes, though it seem too dramatic,
HAHAHA but nice work Kai!

So Lou and I went back to CASS building after mankeup session to find Kanages and the rest, when that awful news hit us.

Kanages's dad had a heart attack while driving near Changi Airport.
His heart stopped for an hour or so, before he was found by the airport police.

Gosh!
Do you know how shocked I was.
Heart attack,
and I'd think of Ahma.

After photoshoot,
Lou-Lu, Shuimin and I rushed to Changi General Hospital to see Kanages and visit her Dad.
Kanages was visibly upset, very very very upset.
I know how she feels.

We talked to her, was there for her.
Brought her down to foodcourt to eat.
She bought chee cheong fun,
cos it was a dish her dad would buy for her for breakfast on Saturdays.

Memories just flooded back for her.
I knew it wasn't easy for her.
I was and still am worried for her.
She needs to grab a bite.
She needs to stay strong.

When she returned from the foodcourt,
her dad's heart stopped beating.
His blood pressure went low.
Everything was bleak.
And he just passed away.

She called.
And yes she was crying a lot.
I felt helpless, lost.
I didn't know what to say, what to do, how to react.
It was all way too sudden.
I'd thought there will be better news tomorrow.

Can anyone just tell me why it has to happen so soon?
Yes I know, its fate.
If you have to go, you go.

But her dad was just beginning to treat the family nicely.

I was really quiet throughout my car journey home.

I'd thought,
if it was my dad lying in ICU,
I'd die.
Touch wood though.

Papa, please stay strong, for me, for the family, for all the sweet things in life to enjoy.


We all have to treasure everyone while we can.
Don't wait till you lose it.
Live life like you're dyin.....(Kris Allen rocks big timeeee)


Kanages's dad,
you will always be in my prayers.
May you rest in peace.
I'd help you take care of Kanages, and help her along the way.
I'd help her get over her misery soon.
You will live in her heart forever.


A dad is a dad.
A dad will be a dad forever.



DADS FTW.



XOXO
(I dedicate this post to my most selfless Victor Papa who does every single little thing to me, all these small things mean alot to me papa (: )

, 12:11 AM

My teacher who just came back from New York can't stop saying the word, sexy!



XOXO

Wednesday, July 7, 2010 , 9:31 AM

My heart was really pain,

So, started my day bad.
But we all worked it out.
Luckily.
I treasure friendships, so I treasure her's too.

I'm happy she told me what's wrong,
and I'm willing to change.
I wanna be a better person, and have more great awesome friends!

I love my SN girls to bits <3
They GMH!

Anyways,
Photoshop is killing me.
I can die for you to see.
Grrrr!

Anyways I did a really bad thing today.
I bet God ain't gonna forgive me.
So will Ahma.

I don't know what was wrong with me.
I don't know why I would slap him.
Really,
I'd thought I 'attacked' somewhere else.
FML.

Though he may have forgive me,
but I haven't forgive myself.
I should really slap myself and be awake.

My heart was literally pain when I slapped him.
Karma you might say.

I'm so hurt,
I don't know if he is.

I'm so rash and violent.
Nothing likeable huh ):

But I'm happy.
At least for today I helped him styled his hair.
I hope it will be something I can do for him every morning (:
That'd be sweet.....

I like it how others say we look compatiable and have a couple face.
I hope dreams do come true....



XOXO

Tuesday, July 6, 2010 , 9:36 PM

FML.

FML.
Damnit laaa, ICP CA1 get D.
I'm so dead yeah?
Sian sia.

No, TTY!
Cannot lose motivation!

Will see the CA1 soon I guess :/
I'm scared I was the one who pull it down ):
fuck.

I'm damn worried now.........

I have nothing to say already.
Shall just chiong all the way.

Marketing must do well.
I DONCH FUCKNG CARE.


GO JITTY GO!




XOXO
Joanne Tan!

Monday, July 5, 2010 , 8:49 AM

I can't wait for my big day,

It's the 1st of July!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEETEUK!
:D

Anyways,
I was very temperamental today, and I effing don't know why.
Gahhhh ):

I loved Marketing tutorial today.
I miss Mr Kenneth Lee oh-so-muchhhh!
HAHAHAHA his infectious laughter, LOL.

Had the grouping ballot today.
Mine is the 3rd group to present.
And his is 4th.
And Lou Lou went like,

"I saw the paper man. It has Joanne then his name." LOL.


Was uber bored after that.
Went on to watch Big Bang MVs.
Hahaha GD, Seungri and TOP were very entertaining!

I'm bored still.
Shall go back to my Shrek movieeeee marathon!


I miss him!
I miss eyecandy!


XOXO

Thursday, July 1, 2010 , 10:50 PM