<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d2098828593721803935\x26blogName\x3dLook+at+me+beau,\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://xoxoandiloveyou.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://xoxoandiloveyou.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-5493007748232549729', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Welcome to my Suju lifeee
Yuliant Joanne Ivan Ryo Tan Tingyuan!
Seventeen since 10th July 2010!
Singapore Polytechnic Mass Comm Year 1!
Ex-St Nickolodean!

Loves <3
Fernando Torres!
Justin Bieber!
Big Time Rush - Logan&Kendall&James!
The Wanted - Nathan&Siva&Jay!
Anthony Neely!
Jay Chou!
KPop!
Super Junior 15-strong!
Kibum!
Kyuhyun!
Hankyung!
Eunhyuk!
Eeteuk!
Henry!
Siwon!
Donghae!
Kangin!
SHINee - Minho&Taemin&Key!
SHINee Ring Ding Dong&Hello&Lucifer!
SNSD - Taeyeon&Hyoyeon&Seohyun&Tiffany&Yoona!
SNSD Run Devil Run&Oh&Gee&Genie&Hoot!
fx - Amber!
miss A - Fei&Suzy&Jia!
2PM - Nickhun&Junsu!

I wish I wish for all these,
Super Show 4!
A true prince who knows how to treat me right!
A bouquet of roses from you to me!
Pictures everywhere of you&me!
An awesome GPA grade (4.0 pls)!
To be on normal talking terms with Mum!

I'm just a click away, baby
When I'm bored, click here
Archives
Credits
I LET YOU SLIPPED OUT OF MY HANDS.
i feel remorseful whenever i looked at our photos.
i regret for everything i had done.
what is done can no longer be undone.

i let you slipped out of my hands just like that.
and i can no longer be back with you anymore.
you always gave me chances whenever i did something wrong.
but for this fatal mistake,
how i hope you could forgive me.
but no, you couldn't and you shouldn't.

how warm your hands were.
how comfortable your shoulders were.
i always feel safe and secure whenever i hear your voice.
it always brightened up my day.
how i wish you are here, right in front of me again.
how i wish.
how i hope.


i regret alot.
i had lots of tears flowing.
but i can no longer turn back the time.

i am sorry.
i apologise for making you disappointed.

sorry.

:(

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 , 12:10 AM
FIRST LOVE.
you are my first love.
you are my first dream.

it was surprising that our relationship lasted that long
but we still broke up.

i don't think of you anymore.
i don't feel like.
and i am not allowed.

sorry boy.
but i can no longer love you.

sorry.

, 12:06 AM
SEASONS IN THE SUN.
goodbye to you my trusted friend.
we've know each other since we were nine or ten
together we've climbed hills and trees
learnt of love and ABC's
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
goodbye my friend
it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky
now that spring is in the air
pretty girls are everywhere
think of me and i'll be there
we had joy
we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
but the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
we had joy
we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
but the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone
goodbye papa
please pray for me
i was the black sheep of the family
you tried to teach me right from wrong
too much wine and too much song
wonder how i got along
goodbye papa
it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky
now that the spring is in the air
little childern everywhere
when you see them
i'll be there
goodbye Clement my little one
you gave me love and helped me find the sun
and everytime that i was down
you would always come around
and get my feet back on the ground
goodbye Clement
it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky
now that the spring is in the air
with the flowers everywhere
i wish that we could both be there

- Seasons In The Sun by K ONE
(my version)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 , 11:46 PM
ESTEE MUMMY!
mum is not posting that much recently.
saddens me.
love her blog entries.

SO EGO AND EMO.
zzz.

a butterfly escaped from hell
and without a doubt, its definitely estella.

FWAHAHAHAHS!

mum,
thanks for your support along the way.
couldn't have survive when my real mum nags at me.
love all the times we have spent together.

MUMMY, YOU ARE SO KEWL!

:)

, 11:42 PM
DANG.
surely SHE just doesn't know the right time to come online.
and it sucks.

like how do i or est, in this case, be able to tell her?
zzz.

suckety SUCK!

:(

, 11:38 PM
I AM NERVOUS.
estella said she would tell HER everything.
in a rowdy and impolite manner without a doubt.
zzz.

well, its great that she's helping me say it.
but.
somehow it just feels not quite right.
there were times i felt like telling estella not to say it out.
but then i didnt stop est.

sometimes i want it slow and steady.
but sometimes i want it to be told immediately.
there are two sides of me pulling me.
strangling me.
and i am confused.
i don't really know what to do.

maybe i should stop and think at times.
maybe.

:X

, 6:53 PM
I AM SO LONELY.
I am so lonely.
I have nobody.


zzz.
Akon.
LOLS!


i feel lonely.
staring at the walls alone.
going home alone.
walking alone.
its a sick feeling which no one wants.
i am blinded by it. but i still feel scared alone.


i feel happy when i am alone.
i get to do all the stuffs that i can't when i am alone.
no one would be watching and that calls for HOORAY.
i can think straight when i am alone.
i reflect a lot when i am alone.
i like being alone at home.
cropped up with the computer and the instant noodles.


i am contradicting myself.
yes,i know.
its hard to make a choice.
but i am sure i know,
deep in my heart,
i am lonely.






Come to bed,don't make me sleep alone
couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show
never wanted it to be so cold
just didn't drink enough to say you love me.




come join me.
in hell,
in heaven,
on earth,
in my soul,
in my mind
and in my heart.


cos..
i am lonely.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 , 8:54 PM
I HATE MY WORLD.
i hate how i live.
and how i hope i could choose the way i die.
its sweet sacrifice.
my time is up and let's all say goodbye.

:X






Feels like the weight of the world
like God in heaven gave me a turn
Don't cling to me, I swear i fix you
still in the dark can you fix me?

Freefall.freefall,all through life

If you love me,then let go of me
I want to be held down by who I used to be
she's nothing to me

Feels like the weight of the world
like all my screaming has gone unheard
and oh,I know you don't believe in me
safe in the dark, how can you see

Freefall,freefall,all through life

If you love me,then let go of me
I want to be held down by who I used to be.

, 8:45 PM
DON'T EVER GIVE UP.
Joan had hockey competition today.
she so wanna win the competition.
HAHAHAS!
in the morning. she sms-ed me to give her a lucky charm.
cos she wanna win really hard.
LOLS!
so i decided to give her my MONOKORO BOO charm.
i gave her a note too.
cheering her on and telling her never to give up no matter how hard it is.
she told me she almost cried when she couldn't block a goal.
zzz. and her coach said she had to get out of the team if she cried.
zzz.
wad kind of coach is this?
LOLS!

The hockey team won and were CHAMPIONS.
cool.
and i pretty never realised my pig charm could be at work.

LOLS :)

JIAYOUS LE.
QIAN WAN BU YAO FANG QI, FOU ZE DUI BU QI ZI JI.


<33
today is a pretty day.

, 8:06 PM
I LOVE MY BLOG.
i think i am beginning to love my really sad blog.
of course i got to get on with life.
there are cheerful things around and i will capture all of them down in my mind.
AND IN MY BLOG!

:)

Monday, May 21, 2007 , 11:13 PM
MY FAMILY PORTRAIT.
it has always been a routine for me to draw happy faces on my family portrait during art lessons in my primary school.
now it seemed too fake to not acknowledge the fact that my family has never been happy.
there should never ever have smiley faces on that portrait.
it is supposed to be gloomy.
no more holidays for me, cos mum and dad can't go with me anymore.
they are kinda on bad terms with each other.
and this is the only time it has progressed that bad.
it is getting worse and out of hand.
it has been more than 3 months already.
no more chatting, no more shopping together, no more eating together,no more excursions.
i can't take it anymore.
i have treated them as divorce even though they are still with me.
there is no difference of being divorced or not in their case.
its just plain frustration to me.
school requested counselling for me.
teachers are asked to be my friends to help me along the way in life.
these are great help.
but the best help is defitnitely to get my parents back together.
is there such a medicine on earth?
i will risk my life for it , if there is one.
i put on a mask everyday to school and back home.
and it is seriously disturbing me.
how long do i still have to wear that mask?
even spiderman can't wear it too long.
i want love, cos i can't get it.
i want to be happy for once.
to be happy from my heart.
i am always happy with the company of friends and close friends.
but i also want to be happy when i reached home from school.
i want to be happy in the arms of my parents.
i don't want to go home , facing the cold, white walls alone.
it is a very scary feeling.
and i have started talking to myself.
is my condition getting worse?
i don't know.
depression sucks.

, 10:26 PM
SAD.
i had already prepared to tell her how i feel towards her.
but she gave too much hints to ask me to give up.
i told myself to give up and continue walking on where the road ahead of me leads me to.
if it can only be that easy to forget and pick up my pieces.
it has become a routine for me and i seemed numb towards it.
no one is there to shoulder the sadness and pain with you.
that's the sad part.
there was one girl who was always by my side , encouraging me on.
and that really helped a lot.
have i ever been true to my own genuine feelings?
no,i think?
and at this moment , i am still thinking of her.
i haven't really gave up, i realised.

, 10:20 PM